Photos by Tifani Truelove.
Hey guys! I hope you’re all having a fantastic summer. It sure has been a crazy year for me thus far. Summer especially. It’s the season where travel is expected from everyone. And I mean everyone. Part of the American Dream is to get locked into the 9-5 work system but take off time in the summer and go drive around the country or fly to a random place. I guess that’s a pretty good perk, eh? The idea of travelling is very trendy right now. It’s very chic to post “on the road” pictures on social media and talk about what a bohemian gypsy soul free spirit you are, blah blah blah. But once you finally get your butt out on the road and actually experience travel and what it means experience that, your life has the ability to change quite rapidly.
I’ve done a fair amount of travelling this year; two trips to the West Coast and a road trip from NYC to Texas. (Those of you who keep up with me on Instagram @cultofhope will follow.) When you travel, especially on the road, you are forced to consolidate yourself and your life. Traveling is to life what a protein bar is to a fully stocked kitchen. Both can be beneficial and nutritious, however one is expansive and one is concise. You learn a lot about who you are. You learn what things are necessary and important to you. You also learn what people are important to you and if you are important to them. So if you feel like you’ve got a lot of figuring out to do in life, it might not be such a bad idea to drag your butt out of your hometown and hit the road. Forcing yourself to exist outside of your comfort zone will help you to reassess your life and goals from a clearer and almost alien perspective.
So, some things I learned (in no particular order):
1. I like to wear pants.
A lot. Pants are a helluva lot more practical than skirts and dresses. As lovely and feminine as trailing gowns can be, they can also be a royal pain in the ass when it comes to actually doing practical activities. (Like stepping out of a vehicle, for example.) There are lots of amazing types of pants out there in this world: leather, skinny, flare, paisley print, metallic, glitter, colored denim, etc. As one of my friends commented, pants are badass. And being a badass never hurts now, does it?
2. I need to learn how to play the guitar.
Like a boss. Being around people who play guitar has helped me realize that I want to learn how to play it myself. The way that you pour your deepest feelings from your heart into singing can also be done by pouring that same energy into a physical instrument. When the energy from your body flows into another object, that object becomes a part of you. A guitar is an extension of yourself that can play the most riveting and sexy amazing music.
3. I’m more like a dude than I realized.
Don’t get me wrong, being a woman is great. But my personality definitely has a lot of qualities that are most commonly found within the male species. At this point in my life, I’m pretty straightforward about most things. Beating around bushes is a waste of time. I think it’s because I’ve taken shit from people before, I’m just kind of fed up with catering to stupidity and don’t have the time to walk around eggshells about anything. Not wanting to deal with sensitivity also results in doing and suggesting to do very random things. “I don’t have time to let this idea naturally transition into the conversation. I want to do this NOW….hey let’s do this thing!”
4. I’m grateful for evil.
I get it, everyone has problems. And some of my past problems/problems I’m dealing with have been very difficult. I’ve chosen to live an unconventional fringe life on the edge of society and well, it has its perks and its drawbacks. Sometimes it can very, VERY easy to wallow in the drawbacks in a mire of self-pity and laziness. But I can’t play victim at the hand of my own choices. Evil and darkness is what makes you stronger and deeper and what fuels creative inspiration. I don’t feel like being creative when I’m happy and enjoying life. When I’m happy and enjoying life, I want to do just that. It’s in those moments of utter despondency (or reflections of past utter despondency) that make me make good music. The ultimate goal is to live a happy and enjoyable life with the ability to tap into those times of past evil.
(She’s a magickal, mystical woman.)